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All posts for the month November, 2011

Why I Don’t Believe In Fairy Tales

Published November 28, 2011 by The OC

Fairy Tale

-n.

1. A fanciful tale of legendary deeds and creatures, usually intended for children.

2. A fictitious, highly fanciful story or explanation.

Warning: Before anything else, you must know I am not in the business of ruining a little girl’s dream of becoming a princess. Trust me, I am not. That’s why this entry must not be read or even be told to them for my heart cannot bear see a child’s simple fantasies be shattered into dust. Guilt will haunt me ’til the very day of my death if that happens. So please, don’t.

Been there, done that. I once believed in fairy tales, you see. I had always dreamed of becoming a beautiful princess, to be come the damsel in distress and be saved by Prince Charming who’s destined to meet and save me from all the evils in the world.

I held on to that belief for years and years and years. Until I did find a prince who I believed that he was the one I was fated to be with. Well, at least, I did believe.. at the moment.

Obviously, you guys already know that I did fell in love, I repeat, I DID. I mean, who doesn’t? (For those of you who hasn’t fallen in love YET, you will, trust me, you just have to wait.) And it’s also obvious that the relationship didn’t work out. But before you call me “bitter” or anything else by the book, I want you guys to know that I am writing this to let you know the reasons why I’ve thrown everything about princesses and castles out the window and not because I want people to know every minute detail with my past, if you know what I mean.

I guess it’s true what they say, you’ll wish you were a kid again when your heart gets broken ’cause skinned knees are easier to fix than broken hearts. Though both may leave scars on you, at least there are what we call “The magics of dermatology”. But no matter how bad you want to fix your own heart, you can’t. There’s no heart surgery that can ever heal or make the scars in your heart disappear. (I know the heart doesn’t really do all that and it’s just used as a metaphor for what’s in the mind, but do let me use it for generality’s sake.)

Being heart-broken makes you feel lots of things like:

1. You feel worthless.

2. You feel that you’re done for.

3. You feel you’re in a prison and can never get out of it.

4. You feel the world is ending.

5. You feel so alone that no one will ever come to love you again.

and so on.

But for me, I think the worst part of getting heart-broken is when you believed everything was just like what you thought it would be and the next thing you know, it already took a three hundred and sixty degree turn. This very fact made me realize that fairy tales are for kids. I am not a princess and definitely, my life isn’t a fairy tale.

Though Cinderella may have been hurt by her step sisters and step mother, or even if Sleeping Beauty was put to sleep by an evil witch, their princes never hurt them. But for us people, in reality, it’s not always the case. You may feel the best feelings in the world but never be too sure that it will last. Nothing is permanent as they say, except for change.

Another reason I don’t believe in fairy tales is because I certainly do know that life is not like the movies. I frankly, think that these fantasies (the fairy-tale-like ones) created by people and shown on the big screens are just mere translation of what most people wish that their life would be, of what we think life should be. We shouldn’t even bother dreaming that our life will be just like that. I tell you, I maybe too young to say this, but there will always be hits and misses when it comes to chasing dreams. You have to go through a lot.

Yes, it does seem that my little childhood belief has left me and is now gone but that doesn’t mean that I’ll never believe in it again. I am not closing my doors on the opportunity of getting my fairy tale or having my movie. Remember, I just said “I don’t“, I NEVER said “I can’t“. And besides, just because I don’t believe in fairy tales, doesn’t mean I don’t believe in happy endings. :) If you think about it, you would rather have a happy ending without the fairy tale-like story than to have the story like those of princesses but with no happy endings. I know it would be great to have both but in this life, you can’t have it all.

You may have not thought of this yet but we are the one’s responsible for our own book. We’re the ones who write our own stories. In my case, I can’t write it as a fairy tale because it just isn’t the right genre for me. I know that one of you or at least a few of you still believe that your life can be just like those in Disney and you don’t agree with what I said, well, I respect that and I am not stopping you guys from believing. Just be sure that in your book, you make sure that you write everything and not just those that will make yours seem to be perfect. :)

Ask and You Shall Receive

Published November 27, 2011 by The OC

“Ask and you shall receive..” -Matthew 7:7

So this Christmas season, I shall ask and receive, right? :) That’s why I am going to put EVERYTHING on my Christmas list here! Feel free to choose and give. Remember, “The more you give, the more you receive.” So don’t be a Scrooge! Be like Santa and let us feel the Christmas loooooove. ♥ (Don’t worry, you guys, it wouldn’t include my dream house or a car. ;) )

I really loooove Sophie Kinsella‘s Shopaholic Series. I already got the first three books and I’m crossing my fingers this Christmas for the other three. :)

I never had a Havaianas slippers. But I am hoping to get one this year! I prefer if its light blue or white, but gray would be fine, too. Preferably like the one in the picture, but if it’s plain, still fine with me. ;)

From slippers to shoes. Be it wedges or doll shoes, I have no problems with it. Guys, it doesn’t really have to be branded or such. Just needs to be really cute and at least, last for a while. :D

Bracelets and bangles! Loooove! Choose lots of colors, puuuhlease!


Yes, I really want to have white feather earrings (not dangling and not long please). And aren’t those polymer clay earrings sooo cute?

Chocolates, cupcakes and brownies, Christmas is the best season to receive some sweet treats especially for sweet tooths like me! So why don’t you go ahead and visit your favorite sweet shop and share the goodness! (no candies please. :3 )

From Chick Lit books to Nicholas Sparks’  collection, for sure my vacation will be worth it! It doesn’t really have to be brand new. There are lots of second-hand bookshops around like Booksale! And remember, Chick Lits doesn’t only come in pink covers there are whole lot others. I highly suggest Sophie Kinsella‘s The Undomestic Goddess, Remember Me?, Twenties Girl and the Madeleine Wickham books. As for the Nicholas Sparks’ books, don’t even bother thinking “What if she already has this book?” because I don’t even have one. Huhu. I only get to watch the movies. :’)

If you ever have lots of puppies, I am very willing to take care of one. :)

This is pretty much it. I mean, it’s all that I can think of now. I will just update this list when I happen to have something new on my list. ♥

PS: For shoe size reference, please read @ https://obsessioncompulsion.wordpress.com/2011/11/21/flawed/ :)

(disclaimer: this is not a marketing strategy.. I think. Hihi. :) )

Detour

Published November 27, 2011 by The OC

I was supposed to use “A Re-telling of A Re-telling: The Notebookas the title of this entry. But I decided to just think of a new one because I’m writing more on the experience of being re-told of a story though the first title was more catchy.

November 25th, Friday. It was past 9 o’clock in the morning when Sir Joscar Malacaman, our English 1 professor, asked us to tell our so-called “partner” who’s just our seatmate by the way, our favorite story. Aside from that, he specifically asked us to tell it in English. It wasn’t that big of a deal. I mean, what he’s asking us to do isn’t really hard. I do know how to speak in English but the problem is, I’m not really a good speaker of the language. Apparently, I am not alone. Grace, my seatmate, also felt that way. In which case, we kind of just giggled it off while inside, I was already formulating what to say just so I wouldn’t mess up the story I was about to tell her.

Grace and I aren’t really close. We’re more of in the she’s-just-my-seatmate-in-English-class relationship. But seeing her in the same state that I am – the nervously giggling state – I actually felt quite comfortable. I was the first one to tell my favorite story, Hope for The Flowers by Trina Paulus. Miraculously, I didn’t mess it up which was a relief on my side. However, I noticed that I overused the word “like” which made me realize just now that I should be really expanding my vocabulary.

When it was her turn to tell her favorite story, she kept on saying “You know this already.” And I was like, “It’s okay.” Well, it really was okay to me. To make her comfortable in telling me her favorite story, I let her tell me the details first like the title, author and genre. It turned out that her favorite story is Nicholas Spark‘s The Notebook. I do know The Notebook because I watched its movie but I never really read the book itself. Just like me, she never really have read the book but she really LOVES the story. You could really see it in her that she really loves the story. Her smile goes from ear to ear as she tells me the scenes that touched and made her feel the butterflies inside. And every time I get to relate to what she’s saying, it was like the feeling of having you and your best friend connect like Bluetooth. We were like those young girls who just saw a cute guy and gush about it. It was a moment where I felt comfortable with her. It was a moment where I can say I have a new friend.

Well, you see, it was just all about THE story. I tell a story. She tells a story. That was it. But the moment took a turn and led me to this road I never thought I’d be in. It’s not just the love conquers all theme of The Notebook that I get to know about. It was also about the nice, sweet and funny girl that I have always sat beside in class whom I now officially call as my friend.

When you just let loose and let the moment take over the driver’s seat, you will always find yourself in somewhere unexpected, somewhere beautiful. It may not be the destination you’re supposed to go to nor be the way you want to take but I am sure that where ever it is, it’s worth the time to see. Sooner or later, you’ll think about it and say it’s true. :)

“Let the moment take over the driver’s seat.”

The Missing Link

Published November 22, 2011 by The OC

Three points. Three points lost. And all I blame is that nice lady who manages the photocopying area at school.

I’m not really a perfectionist, you see. Just like what I’ve said in my earlier post, I don’t really strive to be perfect. BUT I can’t help but feel bad. :(

We just had our first-ever-most-awaited-quiz-of-the-week in my Arkiyoloji 1 class. I’ve read everything I needed to read. I certainly almost memorized the chapter selections and I really really REALLY studied hard for the quiz. The thing is, while I was reviewing, I noticed that there’s a duplicate of page 24 in one of my copies. I didn’t really bother. But then I came to realize, I’m missing a page. Honestly though, I didn’t really think it was THAT important. Nevertheless, I was quite freaking out.

And then, it all went down this morning. My first class (which starts at 8:30) with the most awaited quiz just broke my heart. I couldn’t really think of the answer in numbers 10-12. I don’t remember reading anything about that question. Right there and then, it hit me. It most probably came from the missing page of my reading, I mea

n, where else would it have come from? With all my might, I did try to guess and with the one in a million chance of catching a lightning, one, I repeat, JUST ONE of the three answers I wrote turned out to be correct.

I really want to get good grades this semester. I need to stay in CBA (College of Business Administration). I have to get at least a 2.29 GWA average of the two semesters and there’s really no room for mistakes here ’cause I wasn’t lucky in my first semester. I know I shouldn’t feel really bad, but I just want to make my parents proud of me. I feel and I know my parents were kind of disappointed last semester, and I don’t want them to feel the same this time. :(

Actually, I don’t really blame the lady who photocopied the chapter I have. Well, maybe just a little. I just have to do better next time and make sure I get the right pages. Anyways, I hope you learned from my mistake, I’m sure I did.

I promise you guys, I will do better! Kill me if I don’t. (That was a figure of speech. DON’T take it seriously.)


Flawed

Published November 21, 2011 by The OC

"Nobody's perfect."

The girl with the perfect everything. She has the perfect hair, so silky and smooth. She has the perfect skin, as white as a dove. She has the perfect life. She’s beautiful, sweet, intelligent, she has everything any normal girl would wish for. Yes, it’s all her. And it will never be me.

I am just your average teenage girl. I have the average height, 5’2”. I have the average weight, 47 kg. And I have a slightly above average  shoe size, 8 (according to “500 Days of Summer“). Vital statistics wise? Don’t even bother asking for I will never tell.

I’m 17 years old. I was born in a province turned city. Well, at least I live in a house that’s adequately normal. My family’s not wealthy nor poor, but we get to have what we need. In my years of existence, never did I really get the things I’ve always been wanting. Most probably because we really can’t afford it and I’m just dreaming really BIG. But for all I know, there’s really nothing wrong with that except, I just always get to feel the disappointment of not getting my dreams.

I want to be perfect. I want to be that beautiful girl who makes heads turn when I’ll pass by. I want  to be that smart, gorgeous woman whom most of the people look up to. I want to be the girl every man dreams.. or at least, be the girl who someone’s been dreaming of.

Impossible, I know. I can never be like Angelina Jolie, Taylor Swift, the girl on TV, never like them. But based from the lessons I learned from first-hand experiences, it is okay to be just normal. Actually, it might turn up even better.

I may not have the perfect everything, but at least I have everything that I need. God blessed me with what I have and I should just really make the most out of it. I can still be that beautiful person I want to be if I just take care of myself and be conscious with the things I do. I can still be that smart, gorgeous woman if I study really hard and aim for the best. But never can I be perfect. NO ONE CAN EVER BE.

It’s okay to be flawed. Actually being imperfect, you don’t have to live your life by the expectations of people. You can make mistakes and try again without anyone looking at you as if you committed a crime against humanity. You can live your life and just be free.

This is me. I’m still young, learning, and developing. I am not perfect. I certainly made a lot of mistakes (and learned from it). I know I’ll have a lot to offer to this world even if I still have no clue what it is. I am your perfectly flawed young lady. With my chin up, head held high, I say this, never try or even bother become perfect. Stay true to what you are and who you are. Who knows, you might already have the world at your fingertips and you don’t even know it.

Like A Box

Published November 21, 2011 by The OC

"A box without hinges, key, or lid, yet golden treasure inside is hid."

“A box without hinges, key, or lid, yet golden treasure inside is hid.” -J.R.R. Tolkien

As cliché as this might sound, life is like a box. People always tend to say this when one is asked to define life for the very reason it is true. No one knows what a box really has unless we open it. And once we do open it, what it holds is not what we always expect.

If life can be compared to a box, shouldn’t be a person be compared to it too? I mean, stereotypes aside, we can never tell what a person truly is unless we get to know that certain person. Knowing a person completely does not happen in seconds nor minutes. To know a person, one must do so for months, let alone, years. With knowing comes with trust, and with trust comes openness. It is such a complicated process but the deal you get is inevitably worth it.

It is hard to know a person and it is also hard for a person to let you know him/her. This is why I created this blog. Well, at least it’s one of the reasons why I did create this blog. I want people to know me. I know what I’m doing is unconventional because openness comes in two ways. To let a person get to know you, you must also get to know the person. But, I’m putting (almost) everything on the line. I will let you, my readers, get to know who I am without me knowing you guys completely. But I am hoping that sooner or later, with the small pieces you may leave for me, may it be through comments, suggestions, likes or any other feedback (oh! and even by following me which is HIGHLY recommended!!!), I will be able to become acquainted with each of you.

This blog will be about anything under the sun, as Sir Joscar, my English professor, would put it. Everything will be so random! I hope you will enjoy reading my blog and of course, if you want, I will also read yours! And oh! Before I forget, the Random Fact section of my blog will contain some bits and pieces of random facts about me while the Note to Self section will contain picture quotations that I just want to share with all of you. Enjoy! :)

With much love,

The OC ♥

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