All posts in the Dreams category

Sent From Heaven

Published March 26, 2012 by The OC


How are you? Haha. Do you miss me already?

Ezra and his family migrated to theUnited Statesjust three days before her birthday. They sold all their properties – their house, their cars, all of it. It was like they did it on purpose. It seemed like they were diminishing reasons for them to stay, or at worse, to even come back at all as Mischa would put it. He told her that they have to go toCaliforniafor his father’s business. It didn’t really bother her; she was just sad knowing her best friend and her lover would be a thousand miles away.

I wrote this because I may not be able to greet you a Happy Birthday. I’m hoping you get this on March 30, 2011. Haha. So, have you replaced me yet? Haha.

They hadn’t had much contact ever since Ezra left. It’s been only three days, and it was Mischa’s sweet sixteenth already. There wasn’t a single call or text, not even an e-mail sent to her. But Ezra’s cousin gave Mischa a letter and a perfume bottle etched with the words “Today, Tomorrow, Always.” She admittedly felt giddy, just like a child getting a brand new toy. But at the same time, she felt how far away they are a lot more.

She opened the letter. She chose to keep it to herself. She didn’t want anyone else to even look at it. But she said Ezra’s tone was vaguely that of a man letting go, as if asking his loved one to move on, to find someone else. She did note one thing from the letter which says, “…just like the perfume, I love you today, tomorrow, and always.”

You are the MISS UNIVERSE OF MY LIFE. ;) I love you so much.

It was summer already. The sun was always up and strong. It was different for Mischa, however. Summer was the time for her to reminisce their moments together — the times when her parents treated Ezra like their own son.

“When we get into some small arguments, my parents would always side with him like he was their son and I wasn’t their daughter.” Mischa giggled and rolled her eyes. But she would always be in tears after every little anecdote.
It was curiosity that led her to an e-mail from Ezra to his cousin. She was envious — she hadn’t received any e-mail from him ever since. There was totally no communication between them. The few things Mischa vividly remembers from the e-mail were about Ezra telling stories of her baby sister, and something about vomiting and baldness. But the one thing she would never forget was Ezra’s note to his cousin: “Don’t tell this to Mischa, she might worry.” She wept as soon as she read it. Her world suddenly turned upside down, inside out. There was not a word to describe how she felt after reading the message.

She called his cousin, who said he was sorry. Upon finding it all out, Ezra called Mischa, and said he was sorry. It was all he could say.

“Every time I see you suffer, I suffer a bit more.” Mischa’s tone suddenly switched to a serious one as she muttered the words Ezra had told her on the phone.

If I’m still alive, you wouldn’t receive this because I will give you something else. I will give you my heart. :)

A few months later, Mischa received a phone call from Ezra’s mother. Mischa had almost surely predicted the words that she would come to hear. His mom was asking how she had been doing but her efforts to try to hide her mourning weren’t enough for Mischa to not feel the pain.

“Hija, Ezra’s gone.” Beyond that, nothing made sense anymore. At that moment, her world had stopped and her tears started falling.

Ezra’s mother told her that he died three days earlier, but he requested to tell the news to Mischa at that later time. Those three days were the exact days of her exams. They didn’t have any communication by then but it appeared Ezra knew what was happening to his beloved.

Take care. I love you.


            Ezra was diagnosed with bone cancer years before he and Mischa became friends. He died last November 17, 2010 because of morphine overdose. Ezra’s mother informed Mischa that even in the last minutes of his life, he had been looking for Mischa. His mom told her that even in his sleep he was calling out for her.  She was the only person he wanted to see, and she was the only one he remembers until he passed away.

March 30, 2011. Mischa received a letter from his cousin, a letter from Ezra not saying goodbye, but a reaffirmation of his endless love for her.


Head In The Bucket

Published February 27, 2012 by The OC

“Do not lose hold of your dreams or aspirations. For if you do, you may still exist but you have ceased to live.”

-Henry David Thoreau

What do you want to do before you die?

Death is an inevitable phase of life. Death, according to Wikipedia, is the cessation of all biological factors that sustain a living organism. Death is life’s ending. We cannot escape death. We cannot live forever. With our life gone, so as our dreams and aspirations disappear. With no life, there is no more chance of doing the things we want to do. There will be no more chance of fulfilling one’s happiness. As what most people say, live your life to the fullest for the fulfillment of your life lies with the things that you accomplished for your happiness.

With the limited undefinable time I have in this world, before I die, first, I would want to be able to go to Paris, France and go up the Eiffel Tower. I have been living a frenzy, always been dreaming to go to that famous city. I want to see what other people have seen and to know what really is like to go to Paris and if lucky, fall in love there. The stories I hear and read about France have ignited my desire of visiting the country. The Eiffel Tower, aside from being a famous landmark, has always been a pleasing view in my eyes. It just looks so beautiful to me that makes me want to go and be there. In line with this, I also want to be able to work and live in Paris before I die. I plan on working and being the CEO of Banque Nationale de Paris Paribas. So much for conquering the world, working for the top bank in the world would be such a great prestige for me. Next, I want to travel to all European countries. Since I have been laying my eyes on France, the impact of European countries has been greater than before. It seems to me that going to Europe would make you feel like an elitist and being one is an experience I would want to have. Europe holds such beauty and royalty that makes one want to see it and witness its flair.

Before I die, I would also want to be able to have my pastry, dessert and pasta shop. Baking and cooking is one of my passions which I would like to enhance and make a profit of. Doing what you love makes your life worth living as many would say, and I believe that owning my own shop would add to the fulfillment of my life. Then, after I’m able to travel and have my business, I want to have my family. I want to be married to the guy who has always been there for me and will forever more be there for me. I want to have my twins, a boy and a girl, so I won’t have to go to labor twice. I want me and my family to live in a beautiful house and stay there happily. I want to experience having my grandchildren visiting me and my husband in our abode like how I want my parents to hold their grandchildren before they leave us. And by family, I also mean being able to see my sister be just like any other normal child in this Earth. My sister suffers from an unidentified brain deficiency. She cannot walk or talk or play like other kids do. She just lays in her bed and rolls around and sit sometimes. It would be a pleasure to witness my little sister be happy.

These are the things I want to do before I die. These are just simple things but I know it will give me the utmost happiness and sense of fulfillment. I know my life will be worth it when I get to do my dreams and see it. If I can do this before I die, death will be just another word in the dictionary.

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